Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
