Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
