I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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