right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
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Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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