i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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