drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
