We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize