I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
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