Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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