So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
