My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
