i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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