he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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