First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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