Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
