ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
