Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
