im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
