uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I fill condoms, not promises.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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