i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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