The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just threw up on my dentist
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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