we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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