cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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