That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
