I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
