are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
