its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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