yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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