It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize