There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
