So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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