Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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