Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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