well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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