You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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