The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
