White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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