We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize