We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
