Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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