this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
