she was so not down for the gang bang
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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