Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
