i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
