you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
