I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
