I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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