Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
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he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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