last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
