so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize