She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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