Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
