do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
