You're my little dorito
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
