In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
