Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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